A favorite poem around these parts, a Valerie original and infinitely adaptable. It is absolutely guaranteed to produce giggles, even amid tears, if offered in just the right tone:
Reuben! Where did you get those eyes?
Did you go to the eye store and pick out those eyes?
Did you say, "I want them round, I want them blue, and just the right size!"?
Is that where you got those eyes?